Women, Caregiving, and the Challenge of Protecting Personal Boundaries
- 11 hours ago
- 5 min read
Ever felt guilty saying “no”?
People need to set boundaries to maintain healthy relationships and sustain their well‑being. However, there is considerable controversy regarding boundaries. Some people believe individuals use boundaries to justify minimal effort, while others believe that they are necessary for relationships. A person’s upbringing can impact their ability to establish and uphold these boundaries. Individuals raised in collectivist cultures may believe boundaries are disrespectful. However, it is important to remember that your boundaries are set to protect your well‑being. Another factor impacting the establishment of boundaries is gender differences. Gender roles set the expectation that women should place the needs of others before their own. This prioritization prevents women from investing in their needs, desires, and well‑being. The effects of this expectation can be seen in feminized careers, parental expectations, societal expectations, and the mental health struggles of women.
One field of work that is highly feminized is social work, but there is still a gender wage and leadership gap. Between 2017 and 2019, approximately 90% of Master of Social Work graduates were women, but their male counterparts secured more leadership roles (Barks et al., 2023). Moreover, the review of data from 1960 to 2010 indicated that the entry of more women into a profession resulted in a decrease in wages for all individuals within that profession. This decrease provides a clear example of the decline in the value of women’s work.
Women are more likely to experience more burdens within the profession, such as work‑life balance challenges, undercompensation, violence within the workplace, and role strain. However, they are expected to excel within the profession and overcome these obstacles with ease. The Health Sciences Association covers the difficulties social workers undergo when handling cases, especially in scenarios where they are alone (Rivere & Kurahashi, 2002).
Parental expectations can influence a child’s personality, academic performance, social relationships, and much more. A study reviewed the effects of Indian parental expectations on their children’s academic achievements. The study found that there was a positive correlation between parental expectations and emotional symptoms, hyperactivity, and peer problems (Nadigotla, 2014). In addition, there was a negative correlation between parental expectation and prosocial behaviour. Among female students, hyperactivity showed up as restlessness, poor concentration, difficulty making decisions, and challenges with time management. As a result, they were unable to reach their full academic potential. Due to the negative correlation between parental expectations and prosocial behaviour, there were minimal instances of volunteering, helping peers, and other acts of support. Thus, we can see that little importance is placed on helping girls build healthy, foundational peer relationships.
Societal expectations require women to balance their household responsibilities, careers, and relationships. A study reviewed the effects of gender roles among 28 women in urban Karachi, Pakistan (Ta, 2011). The sample consisted of employed, unemployed, educated, and uneducated women. The study revealed that a “good woman” was characterized as “unselfish, calm, tolerant, empathetic, reliable, able to organize, compromise, coordinate and maintain hospitality within the house and in keeping good relationships.” As a woman, these characteristics can feel degrading and devaluing; they reinforce the belief that women should serve others before they serve themselves. The study emphasized the importance of encouraging agents of change; the listed agents were a woman’s support system, education, and public media. These agents foster societal change, as education allows a woman to secure more independence and provides greater future security. The use of mass media allows society to see the importance of different roles and women’s empowerment. A woman’s support system provides her with more confidence to step out of her comfort zone and question unfair standards. The study emphasized that these agents can act as the beginning of change, but that they will require more support from the government to enforce immediate change.
Despite the previous examples, this issue is not solely faced by women in Asian countries. Another study based in the United States, consisting of a sample of 32 Black and/or Latina women, found that the effects of caregiving impede the management of their diabetes (Britton et al., 2023). The participants in this study were trying to balance their caregiving responsibilities while working on diabetes self‑management behaviours. Their caregiving responsibilities required ample time and energy and were not limited to taking care of just their children. They were also struggling to take care of their parents, siblings, and partners. The results indicated that these responsibilities could act as motivating factors, reminding these women that they must be healthy or else their loved ones will struggle. However, these responsibilities also produced financial and logistical challenges. They limited the women’s ability to commit to diet changes, workout schedules, routines, and other aspects of self‑care.
These studies serve as a reminder that the expectations placed on women act as a barrier. This barrier makes it even more crucial for women to set and maintain boundaries. Those boundaries allow women to protect their well‑being, their relationships, and their time. As previously mentioned, the expectations of women place unrealistic standards on them. It is unfair to expect a woman to meet everyone else’s needs and her own without any support.
Unfortunately, the establishment of boundaries alone will not change or fully improve these situations. It requires a societal shift, a deeper understanding from loved ones, and appropriate systemic changes. Still, it is an important step forward. If you feel guilty for saying “no,” it is not a personal failing; it is a natural response to years of gendered expectations. You are allowed to protect your time, health, and energy.
This blog explores the difficulties that women face with boundaries; it does not mean to imply that men may not share these struggles. We want to recognize the decades of gender roles impacting a woman’s life in all aspects.
References
Barks, L., McKinley, C. E., Ka’apu, K., & Figley, C. R. (2023, November 2). Is self-care a stand-in for
feminized social privilege? A systematic review of self-care facilitators and barriers to self-care practices in Social Work. Journal of evidence-based social work (2019). https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10869108/
Britton, L. E., Kaur, G., Zork, N., Marshall, C. J., & George, M. (2023, March). “we tend to prioritise
others and forget ourselves”: How women’s caregiving responsibilities can facilitate or impede diabetes self-management. Diabetic medicine : a journal of the British Diabetic Association. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10231690/#S11
Nadigotla, S. B. (2015, June 18). Toni Morrison’s Sula. New World Woman.
Rivere, C., & Kurahashi, Y. (2002, September 1). Violence in the workplace affects 74 per cent of social services workers. Health Sciences Association. https://hsabc.org/news/violence-workplace-affects-74-cent-social-services-workers
Ta. (2011, November 2). Gender roles and their influence on life prospects for women in urban Karachi, Pakistan: a qualitative study. Taylor and Francis Online. https://www.tandfonline.com/
